Marta Apy Elders, 78


Marta Apy Elders of Rowayton, CT passed away peacefully on May 7, 2022 at her home surrounded by her loving family.  

Marta Apy Elders

Marta was born October 3, 1943 in Stamford, CT to the late Martin and Joan Apy of New Canaan, CT.   She graduated from New Canaan High School in 1961 and was the Secretary of her class.  She went on to get a BS in Mathematics from Skidmore College in 1965 and later that year married her high school sweetheart David Elders and they raised two sons, Matt and Brad in Darien.  

During this time, she was actively involved in A Better Chance, Center for Hope and Safe Rides.   Marta then went on to get her PHD with honors in Philosophy and Clinical Psychology from the Teachers College at Columbia University and practiced her passion until she left us.  She is a past chairperson of the Marion Woodman Foundation and a graduate of the BodySoul Rhythms® Leadership Training Program created and led by Marion Woodman, Ann Skinner, and Mary Hamilton.

Her spiritual journey is informed, guided and grounded in her study of The Urantia Book which she and her late husband David have been committed to for the last fifty years. It is their ground of being and has provided a vision of their next steps in an eternal journey.  Marta was a Charter and Founding Member of the Connecticut Society of the Urantia Brotherhood and has served in numerous capacities over the years including as an Associate Trustee of the Urantia Foundation, as well as a teacher facilitator for the Urantia Book Internet School (UBIS). 

It wasn’t what she did but how she lived that defined Marta’s life.  She could light up a room with her warmth, graceful beauty and smile and had a timeless sense of style.  She collected and nurtured many meaningful friendships all over the world and completely and unequivocally lived her truth.  Also known as “Jojo” to her 5 grandchildren, she was a constant presence in their lives engaging in their personal journeys whether it be their sports, academics or their spiritual paths.  According to them, Jojo also had a pretty lit emoji game.  She adored her family and her grandchildren endlessly, always wrapping each of them individually in a warm blanket of love and beaming with pride watching them grow and explore all the beauty, love and goodness that exists in this world.

Perhaps her greatest gift was to guide countless people through the most difficult times in their lives.  She helped them to see light when all they could see was darkness.  She taught them to be able to give and receive love when they didn’t think it was possible.  

If the definition of a “life well lived” is to give more than you take, to adore and be adored by your family and friends and to leave nothing unsaid and to have no regrets when your earthly journey ends and your spiritual journey begins this truly was an exceptional life.

Marta is survived by her two sons and their families. Matt and Christine, sons Jack and Luke of Tiburon, California and Brad and Karen, children Cameron, Katie, and Aidan of Darien and her sister Debbie Odell of Larkspur, CO.  She is predeceased by her husband David Elders, her parents Martin and Joan Apy of New Canaan, CT and her brother Mike Apy of Hilton Head, SC.

A gathering to celebrate the life of Marta will be held on Sunday, June 26, 2022 at 3:00pm at Wee Burn Country Club, 410 Hollow Tree Ridge Rd., Darien CT 06820.  In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to Voices of Children, a Ukrainian based non-profit that provides psychological and psychosocial support to children suffering from the effects of the war in Ukraine.  For online condolences and directions please visit

One thought on “Marta Apy Elders, 78

  1. Marta and I had known each other since 7th grade but in high school we seldom spoke as she was so beautiful, smart and completely intimidating to me. We became good friends the last six years of her wonderful life. Our friendship started when we both realized we were born on the same day October 3, 1943 – she in Connecticut and me in Alabama and coincidentally I was called Jo Jo by my family and her family called her Jo and later her grandmother’s name became Jo Jo. We had many laughs over these connections and coincidences. I used to scold her because when we were kids everyone went to her birthday party and skipped mine. She said no it was the other way around. We had much in common philosophically and often had long discussions about human behavior, beliefs and politics. She was so insightful and just a good thoughtful, kind person and her positions were always persuasive. She had a subtle almost mystical ability to get my agreement. We used to say we were twins because we thought so much alike and worried so much about the country we were leaving our grandchildren. I shall greatly miss her friendship and counseling. She was indeed a very good and compassionate lady who I shall forever miss and love in the deepest of my heart. We were going to celebrate our 80th birthdays together. I am so sad.
    I am sure she will be there in spirit. GI Joe

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