PHOTOS: New Canaan Memorial Day Parade and Ceremony

Memorial Day Parade—May 26, 2025

For U.S. Marines Major Charles Paksi—a decorated veteran with three combat deployments to Somalia and Afghanistan—there’s one word that captures what motivated his friend Domingo Arroyo Jr. on Jan. 12th, 1993.

The men were part of an 11-member patrol near the Mogadishu airport in Somalia as part of an effort to feed the hungry there, and Arroyo, a 21-year-old private and already a veteran of The Gulf War, had about four months left before his discharge. 

“An hour into the patrol, the children and civilians dispersed, creating an uneasy silence,” Paksi told about 250 people gathered Monday in Lakeview Cemetery on a sunny and comfortable morning.

He continued: “The enemy subsequently executed a textbook ambush—gunfire erupted from the buildings to our left and right and our rear. We were being baited into the obvious action: Move through the intersection to the front. The astonishment was palpable. Who would dare shoot at patrol Marines? Absurdity. Surely this was harassment fire and the enemy would shrink off into the night. No, the enemy was here to win. The patrol advanced forward to the intersection. Domingo, our point man, was to move to the opposite side of the intersection to provide covering fire for the rest of the patrol. Without hesitation, Domingo moved forward to the intersection. Halfway through the intersection, he was shot in the shoulder, knocking him to the ground. He didn’t call for a corpsman or a medic. He immediately got back up on his feet, moved to the opposite side of the intersection and did his job. He laid down cover fire for the other Marines. He was shot multiple times doing his job. He died in that intersection. Domingo did not know this, but he was running to a near certain death. Or maybe he did know, and he still did his job.

“The enemy had flanked the intersection with dug-in machine gun pits to the left and to the right of the intersection. Thanks to Domingo’s actions, the Marines located the enemy machine gun pits and eliminated them with effective [M]203 grenade rounds. Why did Domingo Walk point? Why did he do his job in the intersection after he was shot without hesitation? Why? Why did he keep the faith with the Marines to his left and right? Why did he fight with a happy heart and a strong spirit? Because he was strong? No. Because he was tough? Because he had seen combat previously? Not a chance.”

Paksi addressed a crowd of first responders, veterans, residents, town officials and families gathered at the VFW Post 653’s solemn ceremony in the cemetery after a cheerful Memorial Day parade. The ceremony’s keynote speaker, Paksi said that what motivated his friend that day is a single word that the mothers in attendance could anticipate.

“Love,” Paksi said.

He added, “No one has greater love than this: To lay down one’s life for one’s friends. Domingo did his job because he loved the Marines he fought with. He left the moral form of life and became immortal in our hearts and our minds. As a result of his actions, he joined the ranks of so many fallen heroes before him. Domingo lost two lives that night. He lost a life he was so vibrantly living until it ended so abruptly. He also lost a life he did not have the opportunity to live. Perhaps he would’ve married. Perhaps he would’ve had children. Perhaps he would’ve moved to New Canaan, Connecticut. We will never know. What can you do? You can remember. Remember, and be grateful. It is said that a man dies twice: Once when he stops breathing, the second time when his name is spoken for the last time.”

The task that Paksi assigned those in attendance was to remember the New Canaan servicepeople who have died while serving their nation in the U.S. Armed Forces. He listed seven such men from New Canaan and asked the crowd to repeat their names with him: 

“Howard Bruce Smith of the U.S. Army died in combat on March 16th, 1968 in Vietnam. Howard lived 18 years. Howard is buried here at Lakeview Cemetery. 

“David Burke of the U.S. Army died in combat on April 29th, 1970 in Vietnam. David lived 23 years. David is buried here at Lakeview Cemetery. 

“Fred Lind of the US Army died in combat on July 10th, 1966 in Vietnam. Fred lived 36 years. Fred is buried at Arlington National Cemetery. 

“Charles Austin of the Air Force died in combat on April 24th, 1967. Vietnam, Charles lived 25 years. Charles’s remains were not recovered. 

“William Brewster Nickerson of the U.S. Navy died in combat on April 22nd, 1966. William lived 26 years. William’s remains were not recovered. 

“Richard Oliver Bickford of the U.S. Army died in combat on October 18th, 1968. Richard lived 25 years. Richard is buried, in Wisconsin speak, ‘down the street’ at the United States Military Academy Post Cemetery. 

“Creighton Conner of the U.S. Army died in training on June 27th, 1966. Creighton lived 23 years. He had served in combat. Creighton is buried here at Lakeview Cemetery.”

Paksi’s stirring speech opened with a call for the “Gold Star families” (the immediate family members of those who died while serving) in attendance to identify themselves, and they did—the Bills, the Scotts and the Gravereauxs. 

“Tell your children about warriors like Howard and David and Fred,” Paksi said. “Tell your grandchildren about warriors like Charles and William and Richard and Creighton. Tell your friends’ neighbors about warriors like my friend Domingo. …Why are we free people? These hometown heroes risk it all. Just like those eight. They are why we still have a free country. They now stand the post into eternity. On this Memorial Day, please remember those warriors who died in defense of your exceptional country. They died so we could enjoy the amazing freedom our country affords us. God bless the warriors who gave their lives. God bless America.”

Led by VFW Post 653 Commander Mike McGlinn and First Selectman Dionna Carlson, the ceremony included prayers led by St. Aloysius Parish Monsignor Rob Kinnally and VFW Chaplin Brian Vanderheyden (a 1965 New Canaan High School graduate and former U.S. Marine corporal and Vietnam War veteran who also was this year’s parade grand marshal), playing of “Taps” by NCHS graduate Michael Mank, 21-gun salute by U.S. Naval Sea Cadet Corps, moment of silence, placement of memorial wreaths by members of the Hannah Benedict Carter Chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution, New Canaan Town Band, Pledge of Allegiance and raising and lowering of the flag by Russ Kimes III. 

Carlson said the gathering at Lakeview is meant to honor those made the “ultimate sacrifice in service to our nation.”

“Brave individuals who gave their lives to protect the freedoms we hold dear, both at home and around the world,” she said. “This April marked the 250th anniversary of the first battles of our emerging republic, fought in Lexington and Concord—the beginnings of the American Revolutionary War. Since that time, residents of New Canaan have served and sacrificed in nearly every conflict our nation has faced. Through Veterans Day of this year as part of a national commemoration authorized by Congress, the Secretary of Defense and the President continue to observe the 50th anniversary of the Vietnam War. We recognize and honor the service and sacrifice of those who fought in Vietnam. Many of those who returned home without the welcome or recognition they deserved. It is never too late to say ‘Thank you,’ and to remember those who never came home. It is our solemn duty to ensure that the true meaning of Memorial Day is not lost. While this day is an opportunity to gather with family and friends, it is above all a time of reverent remembrance for those who laid down their lives in defense of our country.”

Here’s part of Kinnally’s opening prayer: “ God, who calls us to serve You and one another according to Your loving plan for humanity, draw near as we honor the memory of our brothers and sisters who have given their lives serving You and their country. As we gather to remember, give us hearts of gratitude for all that we have received because of the selfless gift of these heroes. Inspire us to raise them to the dignity of the bravest of the brave. Keep us attentive to the meaning of their sacrifice and the needs of their loved ones. For today’s ceremony, open our minds and hearts to what you ask of us as we listen and reflect as a community and a nation. In Your name we pray this. Amen.”

McGlinn thanked individuals and organizations who helped plant flags at the gravestone of all veterans interred in Lakeview Cemetery, as well as those who have supported and assisted the VFW, including Chris and Frances Wilson, the Lakeview Cemetery crew of Pete Passaro and Kelly Robb, the Community Emergency Response Team or “CERT,” Boy Scouts Troops 70, 45 and 31, Cub Scouts from Packs 70, 45 and 7, the Girls Scouts of New Canaan, the DAR, National Charity League, New Canaan Fire Company, Exchange Club of New Canaan, Young Americans for Freedom Club, and New Canaan Democratic and Republican Town Committees. 

McGlinn asked those in attendance to think about three numbers “as we honor the heroic servicemen and women who lost their lives in combat.”

“The first number is 460,000,” he said. “That’s the number of Americans who lost their lives in World War I and II — 460,000. It’s an astonishing number, and we should all try to remember these service men and women who lost their lives defending freedom and seeking peace around the world.”

The second number is 58,000, he said.

“This year marks the 55th anniversary of the final evacuation of U.S. troops from Vietnam,” McGlinn said. “And several of our VFW members, including myself, have heavy hearts on every Memorial Day—58,000 servicemen and women were lost in Vietnam, and we should remember and honor them every day.”

The third number, 13, represents the servicemen and women who lost their lives on the withdrawal from Afghanistan, he said.

“We’ve already forgotten about them,” McGlinn said. “We don’t even know their names. Those 13 soldiers have already been forgotten by most Americans, but we should remember them this day. We can never forget any American serviceman or woman that was lost defending freedom around the world.”