News

Full Disclosure: Game On, Rivalry Weekend

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Since Memorial Day weekend felt like being held captive in a 24-hour car wash, I turned to local sporting events to keep me entertained and uplifted between downpours and cancelled plans. Thankfully for diehard Ram fans, the rain did not derail a couple of big rivalry games against Darien over the weekend which provided some much needed home entertainment. With little else on the agenda for a rained-out Friday night, I found myself streaming New Canaan High School Channel 78’s impressive gamecast of the boys FCIAC volleyball championship between New Canaan and the undefeated Darien squad. I sat squinty-eyed and glued to my iPhone screen (I know, not ideal for optimal viewing, or for crows-feet wrinkle prevention) to catch the real-time event from the confines of my cozy sofa and faux-fur blanket cocoon. The intense, fast-paced volleyball action was expertly covered with rapid fire play-by-play commentating from way-too-smooth to be high school sportscasters.

News

Full Disclosure: What Lurks in the Woods

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As new residents flock to New Canaan at a blistering pace and set exciting new real estate sales records, there are some pressing matters in the animal control department that newcomers and former city-folk need to get up to speed on. 

First, it should be obvious to new residents that there are many animals lurking about town. Since New Canaan is nestled in a heavily forested area, one should take proper precautions and remain aware, especially with small pets, or for people (like me) who have a propensity to attract wildlife. It’s a good reminder to be alert, as I have become increasingly too relaxed and tend to pooh-pooh those all too frequent neighborhood updates about roaming foxes, coyotes and the occasional escaped peacock. 

As a magnet for the absurd, I would even go so far as to recommend that anyone sporting a bushy ponytail should be aware of the slight risk that a hawk could mistake it for a squirrel riding atop your head. Believe me, if anyone’s ponytail is going to get dive-bombed by an angry winged creature, it’s probably me. 

With my twisted history encountering wild animals, I should be at a heightened state at all times. It would seem that I tend to lure them in with my special brand of “Cougar” pheromones.

News

Full Disclosure: Culinary Tendinitis

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As a self-appointed expert on unknown medical conditions, I would like to shed light on an affliction that has impaired my ability to function as a home chef. 

I am not-so-quietly suffering from Culinary Tendinitis. In layman’s terms, it’s the overuse of one’s culinary skills during a pandemic, resulting in a lack of inspiration to prepare food for more than zero people. It’s a battle, and my family is trying to be supportive, but they are constantly hungry and wondering when I am going to pull it together. After a year of excessive, never-ending meal planning, I am having difficulty conceiving of and executing appealing entrees. No one seems inspired by my new recipe suggestions or jazzed by ‘80s throwback ideas, like Shake ‘n Bake.

Full Disclosure

Full Disclosure: Tell Me When It’s Over

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I suppose that at a certain point during a global pandemic everyone gets a little fed up. So, for the record, I am about five months past “fed up” and one month beyond the point of “over it.” Shouldn’t we have turned the corner by now? 

In fairness, pandemic pundits did warn us that this winter was going to be brutal. 

I wasn’t prepared for them to be right. 

The emergence of super-strain variants and the literal doubling-down on mask wearing has thrown me for a loop. Did anyone see the multiple mask wearing movement coming? I could have been blown over by a concealed sneeze when health officials recommended wearing two face coverings and urged for even more restrictive social distancing measures. Of these two safety revelations, I am most troubled by the concept of wearing doubled-up masks—it seems like a new low. 

On the flip side, I’ve got the socially distant thing totally nailed. 

Maybe it’s just the winter blues, but the “bad news bar” has been lowered so consistently that I shouldn’t be shocked anymore when I am expected to shimmy underneath it with the grace of a contortionist.

Full Disclosure

Full Disclosure: A Sign from Above

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This may be the only January during which I do not repeatedly write last year’s date on all outgoing checks and permission slips. There will be no need to cross out ‘2020,’ because I am ready to move on. Though my family has been fortunate to avoid contracting coronavirus thus far, there were approximately seven to 25 different occasions (dating back to November of 2019) when I was convinced we had it. The paranoid hypochondriac in me has been working in overdrive for far too long, wreaking havoc on my cortisol levels. My “fight or flight” reactions are completely fried, since the option to flee anywhere has been a no-go. 

This seems like a small price to pay for getting through last year mostly unscathed, though I suspected 2020 still had something up its sleeve for me as we rounded out this turbulent year.