Full Disclosure: What Lurks in the Woods

As new residents flock to New Canaan at a blistering pace and set exciting new real estate sales records, there are some pressing matters in the animal control department that newcomers and former city-folk need to get up to speed on. 

First, it should be obvious to new residents that there are many animals lurking about town. Since New Canaan is nestled in a heavily forested area, one should take proper precautions and remain aware, especially with small pets, or for people (like me) who have a propensity to attract wildlife. It’s a good reminder to be alert, as I have become increasingly too relaxed and tend to pooh-pooh those all too frequent neighborhood updates about roaming foxes, coyotes and the occasional escaped peacock. 

As a magnet for the absurd, I would even go so far as to recommend that anyone sporting a bushy ponytail should be aware of the slight risk that a hawk could mistake it for a squirrel riding atop your head. Believe me, if anyone’s ponytail is going to get dive-bombed by an angry winged creature, it’s probably me. 

With my twisted history encountering wild animals, I should be at a heightened state at all times. It would seem that I tend to lure them in with my special brand of “Cougar” pheromones.

Full Disclosure: Culinary Tendinitis

As a self-appointed expert on unknown medical conditions, I would like to shed light on an affliction that has impaired my ability to function as a home chef. 

I am not-so-quietly suffering from Culinary Tendinitis. In layman’s terms, it’s the overuse of one’s culinary skills during a pandemic, resulting in a lack of inspiration to prepare food for more than zero people. It’s a battle, and my family is trying to be supportive, but they are constantly hungry and wondering when I am going to pull it together. After a year of excessive, never-ending meal planning, I am having difficulty conceiving of and executing appealing entrees. No one seems inspired by my new recipe suggestions or jazzed by ‘80s throwback ideas, like Shake ‘n Bake.